


choppy chop there's goes your hair

by moonsamurai



Category: The Legend of Zelda & Related Fandoms
Genre: Gen, flaming fucking shurikens, hair choppity chop, i blame ammy for that one, not bald tho, sorry scissors
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-07
Updated: 2020-05-07
Packaged: 2021-03-02 19:40:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,054
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24052252
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonsamurai/pseuds/moonsamurai
Summary: I- I mean, at least he's not bald??aka, blue pisses red off so red, vio, and green almost kill blueand by kill... you'll find out??
Relationships: Blue - Relationship, Green - Relationship, Red - Relationship, altogether now, vio - Relationship
Comments: 4
Kudos: 42





	choppy chop there's goes your hair

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Blueskullcandy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blueskullcandy/gifts).



> Happy birthday Train!! you wanted four swords boi crack, here ya go!

It had been about a month since Four had shown the others how he could ‘split’ into Four. 

Green, Red, Blue, and Vio. 

Today was a day Four had decided to split, so Vio sat in their room, reading, while the others had gone out. 

Most of them, anyways. 

“Hey!! Vio!!”

“Hm?” 

The boy in purple looked up, only to see Red, holding two pairs of… scissors?

“What is it?”

“So!” Red started, messing around with his scissors. Vio raised an eyebrow as they went  _ snip snip _ almost threateningly.

Which was terrifying enough, especially with Red smiling while looking like he was about to set them on fire.

“Blue pushed me to the ground and tried to ice me with Legend’s Rod of Seasons,” the childish one explained cheerfully. There was a menacing undertone to his ...happier tone.

“What are you getting at? I’d like to continue reading this.”

“I mean, you don’t  _ have _ to join, but I thought it’d be a nice change of pace.”

Vio leaned closer, clearly interesting. His brow seemed to only raise higher.

“So I thought, instead of him pranking us today, I thought.. maybe… we could strike back this once.”

Red’s smile was almost maniacal, just as bad as Wild when he was about to set fire to something. And while Vio knew this was a  _ horrible _ idea… it was tempting. 

Very tempting, indeed.

“What’s the plan?”

A laugh escaped Red’s mouth as he leaned in, whispering his plan into Vio’s ear quickly, as if someone was listening to them. 

As Red explained, Vio couldn’t help but smile. It was sick, a really sick plan. 

And he was down for it. 

“So what do you think?”   
  
“I’m in.”

  
  
  
  
  
  


Red and Vio slunk out of the hotel, greeting the manager with a short nod before escaping outside. 

“Where is he?”

“Probably with Green at the lake, I told him about this.”

“Oh, alright. Lead the way.”

With that, the two hurried off to the lake, set on execution. 

When they arrived, they could see Blue and Green sparring. The clang of metal against metal echoed throughout the area, along with profanities and screeching from both of them. 

“Energetic, huh.”

“Aww, I wanna join them!!”

Red’s smile turned wicked, as he glanced at Vio.

“Let’s crash this party.”

“What happened to you…?”

“Vengeance struck.”

“...Alright then.”

The two hid amongst the bushes and trees, dashing through the shadows encircling the spot the two were fighting in. 

“Ready?”

Vio glanced at Red, who lit a match he whipped out from his pocket. Smiling, he took out the scissors, which were coated with some substance of sorts.

And of the course, Red set the metal fucking scissors on fire. 

“...Holy shit, Red, are you trying to kill Blue in the process here?” Vio hissed, staring at the glowing scissors.

“No?” the other said unconvincingly. Vio could  _ tell _ Red was fighting down the urge to giggle terrifyingly. And struggling. Very badly.

“Whatever, c’mon. Don’t skewer Green.”

Vio grasped one of the flaming scissors and took aim, squeezing an eye shut. 

“Count of three.”

“One.”

“Two.”

“Three!!”

Both of them released their scissors at the same time, just as Green pinned Blue down. 

Somehow, they had aimed. Perfectly. Seriously, the fact that they even got that was astounding. 

Just as Green tackled Blue, the scissors (still burning, mind you) stabbed into his clothes and hair (Vio and Red respectively). Green sprung back, blinking at the literally burning scissors pinning Blue down for him. 

“Ah, fuck! What the fuck, Green?! Fuck, shit, FUCK--” Blue shouted, yanking the scissors out of his right arm’s sleeve, right before Red was upon him.

“Hey, Blue!” Red drawled, his smile almost sadistic as he leaned into Blue’s face. “I hope you remember how you almost iced me.” 

“W-What the fuck, Red,” Blue stammered, slamming his head into Red’s the best he could. 

“Owie!!” 

Red reeled backwards, his hand on his head. 

“That’s not very nice!”

“Sitting on top of me with scissors that are on fire isn’t all that nice either!!” Blue protested, glaring up at Red. “Y’know what, fuck this.”

Vio watched Blue with a sweatdrop.  _ His ass is gonna get beat. _

Indeed, it was. 

Because the moment Blue tried to throw Red off, Red got up and  _ stepped on Blue’s face. _

It was at this moment when Green snorted, and the silence was broken with Red sitting back down on Blue with a huff. 

“I didn’t want it to come to this, Blue!!” he said innocently,  _ the fucking scissors ON FIRE  _ snipping quietly. “A shame it has.”   
  


Red leaned down and yanked a lock of Blue’s own hair, bringing it up to his face. 

_ Snip _ .

“WHAT THE HELL, RED?! THAT’S MY HAIR!!”

“I know!”

_ “Red I swear to god--” _

“I know what I’m doing!! Vio, Green, help me!!” 

“A-Alright,” Vio responded, moving over to a helpless Blue while brandishing his own scissors. Maybe not as threateningly as Red, but it was still menacing in his own right. 

“If you’re trying to be scary, I don’t see it.”

_ God fucking dammit, Blue. _

Vio sighed and debated on whether this was a good idea. Of course, his brain had to then remind him of every time he and Blue got into an argument, every time Blue chucked him around and called him annoying.

With every memory, his smile grew. By the end of all of that, he was ready to eat that revenge ice cream. 

_ Sweet and cold. De-fucking-licious. _

“I’m in,” Green announced with a smirk, kneeling down next to Red. “We should hurry.”

_ I did not expect you, of all people, to agree with this, but then again. Vengeance is like that. _

“Let’s go, let’s go!” Red called out cheerfully, his flaming scissors coming closer to Blue’s face. Green’s and Vio’s eagerly joined in.

Blue’s scream echoed through the area, followed by laughter.

  
  
  
  
  


-BONUS-

“Holy shit, what happened to you?”

“Don’t. Fucking. Ask.”

“We chopped his hair and burned it!”

“Red, I swear to god, I will murder you in your sleep.”

“Good luck! I’ll burn your hair all the way then!”

“Goddesses, please. No. For the love of Hylia. No.”

Vio just shook his head and laughed. “Your hair will just come back the next time we split.”

“THAT JUST MEANS YOU CAN DO IT AGAIN.”

“Exactly.”

**Author's Note:**

> yes  
> he's not bald  
> sorry ahfdlkaj


End file.
